In 2003, I was at a friend’s house. He had just bought the game and I had no idea what to expect. I had played Runescape and was familiar with MMO’s from the very basic level. Another friend was with us that didn’t play anything but Madden. He thought the idea of a fantasy/quest game was ridiculous.
The first thing you come to when trying to play EQOA is creating an account. Thankfully this could be done on the PS2 since computer access in 2003 wasn’t as available in most households as it is in 2011. Our first problem was creating an account name. We weren’t sure if this was like Runescape where your account name became your character’s name. We thought for about 5 minutes before our 3rd friend suggested Lickmybawls. This account name would come back to haunt my friend. Years later, he lost his password and had to call into SOE, then tell the man to lick his bawls.
The first character he made was a Qeynos Paladin. After several minutes of running around Qeynos, we finally ended up here:
Standing around the market area were 30 other, equally confused, new players. By the entrance to the city, there was a player standing there with a blue orb floating beside him. We had no idea what it was and attempted to swing our character’s fist at it, hoping it’d pop. It didn’t and we later found out that mages get pets.
We eventually ended up outside the city. With the badgers. And grass snakes. And beetles. And the F’n pickpockets. The level 4 bandit a-holes hunted us down and murdered our paladin. We were horrified that we had died. As we ran back out to our death site, we noticed an elite player had avenged our death. It was a level 6 rogue. He then led us out to the gnoll tents, killed a gnoll for us to get a muddy paw, and then began spamming the shit out of us with purple text about how we owe him. I vaguely remember him asking for sexual favors. Horrifying as that might sound, it’s the story of EQOA: It begins with confusion and ends with a level 6 rogue sexually harassing you. Wait, what?