Rivervale

The Halfling home of Rivervale sits directly west of Bobble-by-Water. It’s surrounded by a mountain and can only be accessed from the east and west. It’s by far the biggest pain in the ass to run to at low levels. This is thanks to the wandering wildlife, goblins, and confusing terrain. Though an easy level 17 armor quest, it was the most skipped because there was little reason to travel for 30 minutes. The recent addition of the Captain quest has made RV relevant again. Yipee.

Halfling Warrior in his natural form.

Okay, here is the truth. I hate Rivervale. It’s a rip off of the Shire. I get that. But I hope that peaceful little waterfall floods the town. We all know Halflings can’t swim. They fear water unless a magical ring is at the bottom of a pond. Then it’s their greed that keeps them afloat. In the game, half of their names are the same thing. Deeppockets?? Really? That doesn’t sound very trustworthy at all. And yet, that’s the point. They’re supposed to be sneaky people you can’t trust. Which I find slightly offensive. Every time I see a little person in real life, I keep an eye on my wallet. Thankfully I don’t keep my wallet on my ankle.

If you’ve ever made a Freeport Human caster then you’ve probably done the BBW quest involving some Halfling and some woman’s dress. He’s apparently a tailor with an inability to eat chocolate cake without having an orgasm. It’s a two hour quest that ends when the little bastard spills chocolate on the dress. In retaliation, the woman poisons him. Reasonable. The final animation is of a little person stabbing himself. Horribly graphic but yet, slightly satisfying.

Halfling Rogue

There’s a reason there aren’t many Halflings running around Freeport. They offer little in the needs department. Every other race has better capabilities in the long-run. Who is going to respect a fat, stubby Deputy? Not Rodney King. Nor SOE. They clearly have some beef against little people. Halflings only fight other little people, be it other Halflings or little green people known as goblins. I worry about SOE’s intentions but I’ll just assume the developer had a bad experience with a little person and got sued resulting in blatant slandering in the world of Tunaria.